# Don't forget to stretch. One thumb cramp and you're done for.
Yeah. Screw FPS titles. The NES was the *original* twitch gaming experience. Ask anyone who's played the *actual* SMB2 (known in the US as "The Lost Levels" - it was considered so hard that it wasn't released on the US NES and was substituted by a rework of Doki Doki Panic). Or Solar Jetman - one of only three games I ever played where having a Maxx was actually practical (the others being Skate or Die and Marble Madness).
# It's either "A" or "B". Try some process of elimination if you're unsure.
The Student asked the Master "Does A, or B, or both, have the Buddha nature?"
The Master said nothing, but blew in a cart and pressed Select.
And the Student was Enlightened.
# Franticly waving the NES controller is the original Wii.
I prefer using it as a hammer-toss, or the modern equivalent of a flail. No, the original Wii was... dammit - now I'm thinking of the product of some unholy union between the Power Glove and the U-Force... and I think I can build it...
# Little Mac likes his pink pants! I don't know why.
A tiny little guy like Mac running around NYC all in pink? Well, that *is* one way to practice for prize-fights...
# No matter what you do for her, the princess will always get back into trouble.
I'm convinced that the princess and Ganon/Bowser/whomever were in on it together.
# Sometimes getting the cartridge to play is as much work as beating the game
Said by someone who obviously never played the aptly-named "Mission: Impossible".
# If at first it doesn't load, blow.
" People said, "No, Holly, she's not for you." She was cheap, she was stupid and she wouldn't load... well, not for me, anyway. "
# Just like the hiccups, every(one) has a(n) NES game loading cure.
Mine involves rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. And a *lot* of swearing.
# When in doubt warp a level
There's a Lovious joke in here somewhere...
# What's a coax connector for again?
Absolutely nothing. Just sit back and watch the blinkenlight. ::cough:: Ahreff ::cough::
# Cheating is half the fun.
# "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start." Don't pretend you don't understand.
Understand? I have it on a T-shirt! I *love* it when people ask me about it.
And correcting people who think the "Select" bit was necessary to activate the code (seriously, it wasn't - that was just to select two-player mode, most famously in Contra).
# No one beats Tyson, but it's still fun to see you fail.
The game's also a lot more amusing once you understand that - for reasons obvious - Soda Popinski's name was changed from the arcade "Super Punch-Out!!" original: "Vodka Drunkenski".
# Midi rocks!
Between Thomas Dolby, the NES, and that one gonzo Tesla coil, we've pretty much conclusively proven that square waves = cool.
# Do graphics get better than a Double Dribble dunk shot?
On the NES? No, not really. Someone should inform Strong Bad of this, complete with caveat "on the NES".
# No you can't shoot the darn Duck Hunt dog. Yes, we've all tried it.
You can in a bonus round of the arcade version.
# It's dangerous to go alone. Bring a Nintendo Power!
In the original version of the game, you started out with the sword. Shigeru Miyamoto, principal designer, removed the sword from the starting inventory and put it in the nearby cave as a response to Japanese players' criticisms regarding the game's new-fangled nonlinearity. His point was to force players to communicate with each other, sharing ideas to solve puzzles and such, basically giving rise to the video-gaming community. And there was much rejoicing.
# Calluses are the only real Power Glove
The Power Glove was inherently unreal.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,230561,00.html - first paragraph below the image.
# 8 bits are all you will ever need.
Amen.
