[Bazaar] A Not-So-Handy Landing

[JasperBrennon]

A small outdoor eating area isn’t uncommon in the Bazaar.  In fact, there are about a dozen within easy viewing distance of this particular table.  It’s a nice table – laid out with formal dinnerware, china platters, and fresh iced tea.  It doesn’t seem to be attached to any café or restaurant in particular, but it has a small drinks menu and the Bazaar will probably accommodate any order one might place.

About 20 feet above the table, a small portal opens, and the tip of a boot emerges.  “No!  Ah haven’t finished yeht!" cries a voice from the portal.  "Yeh stupid demon, git back here with mah – Oof!”  The boot withdraws, and then is shoved out along with the leg it’s attached to.  A moment later, most of the other leg follows, but not the foot, contorting his lower body at a painful angle.  “Fine, keep the thing, but don’t – Augh!”  The second leg is fully pushed through the portal, as he scrambles a foothold.  As he’s 20 feet in the air, there is no foothold to find.    Slowly but surely, he starts slipping out of the portal. 

“Curse you, Hookbeak!  Ah could’ve – Ow!”  A medium sized golden scepter tumbles out of the portal towards a small wooden bench next to the table.  It seems to have been charged with power, because the bench splinters as it lands, the pieces smoking slightly in a wide swath of collateral damage.

As he slowly gets pushed out of the portal, his clothing is finally revealed.  He’s mostly covered in a blue and silver robe, covering a pair of blue jeans and black t-shirt.  His head slowly falls out of the portal, and he scrambles to keep holding on to something on the other side.  On his hat is a foppish silver wizard’s hat with a broad Stetson brim.  He looks down.  “Ahh shit,” he says.  A lunge upwards gains him a few extra inches.  “Look, Hook, buddy, friend, jest pull me back up, and there won’t be any hard feel – ow!  Really!”  He slips, and loses the few extra inches he gained. 

“At least let me keep the sword,” he cries out in desperation.  “I brought it here, it won’t like you, and – SHIIIT!”  He falls out of the portal, followed closely by his left hand, which has been separated from his wrist, and a long, thin sword.  He pinwheels madly in the air, which of course doesn’t stop him from smashing into the table twenty feet below.  The fine china is shattered into dust, and the many utensils go flying.  He glances up, and rolls to the side barely in time to avoid being skewered by the sword as it flashes down, burying itself through the table and into the ground. 

Above him, the portal seals, leaving only an echoing laugh behind.  The man lies on his back among the rubble, breathing deeply for air.  With a groan, he clutches his wrist, and starts looking around for the rest of his hand.  “Ah shit.  This better be a world with healing magic or REALLY good medical care.”

“Sorry, boss,” comes a voice from the table area. 

“Sheddup,” drawls the robed man.  “This is all your fault anyway.”  He spies his hand half hidden under a saucer that appears to be missing most of its left side.  The man picks it up, removes the fork jammed most way into the back of it, and tries to jam it back onto his wrist, as if sheer force could make it heal.  The hand dribbles a bit of something nasty, but doesn’t stay put.  “If I end up havin' a hook for a hand after losin' a fight with a guy named Hook, Ah swear Ah’ll melt you down and made into a . . . a. . . I dunno what, but you won’t like it!”

“Plowshare?” 

 “Shuddup.”  He stuffs his amputated hand in his sash, and collects up the sword that came through the portal.  After drawing it out of the table, it too goes in the sash, after he makes sure it isn’t going to slice him while walking .  He pokes around in the rubble and collects the scepter that also dropped, and carries it in his only good hand.  “Great.  Now, Ah think it’s time to find whatever a healer is in this here world.” 

“And with our luck, it’ll be one of those witch trials again,” adds a mocking voice from his belt area.  “ ‘Oh, no, this is a traditional baker’s hat,’ HA.  Flimsiest excuse I’ve ever seen for an enchanter.”

“No one likes you,” replies the robed man adroitly.  Taking the point, however, he takes off the hat and stuffs it in a pocket of the robe.

“And now you look like someone caught drawing a bath when their house was knocked down,” comments the voice.  “I hope you have a good excuse for appearing out of nowhere, having an argument with an other-worldly being, and destroying an innocent table.  Well, not that innocent.”

Ignoring the commentary, the robed man finally gets a good look around, and notices that while he may have made a spectacular entrance, fortunately no one was there to see it and draw conclusions that would probably have gotten him killed.  It also, however, left little chance that anyone was nearby and willing to put his hand back on.  “Err, hello?  Anyone there?”

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

A small silver globular thing seems to rise up from the ground about 5 feet away.  In fact, if the stranger had had a better view as he was slipping out of the portal, he might have seen something sinking INTO the ground a bit earlier, but it rises now, and slowly reaches a height of a bit more than 5 feet.  It is oddly shaped, with a large head and pseudopod/tentacle things -- far too many of them -- emerging here and there from a silvery robe/poncho.  It looks at the stranger for a moment, then down at itself, and suddenly the silver thing is replaced by a middle-aged, hefty female in a t-shirt that reads "DEXCON 7", black slacks, and black Nikes.

"DOBA!  That's an unusual mess for a new arrival."

It/she strides forward.

"I am known as (funny sound)(funny sound)100003005030.  Most here call me "Zero".  What is your designation?"

It doesn't sound particularly hostile.  It might even be friendly.

[JasperBrennon]

"I, uh..." he stammers, staring at whatever just emerged.  He shakes his head, as if to clear it.  And then suddenly he grins.  "Howdy, Zero!  Ah don't have a designation, but mah name is Jaspah.  Good to meetcha. I know this'll sound weird, but uh, where've Ah arrived?  Ah travel a lot, get kinda lost, yah know."

[wcshoe]

A pleasant chirp, almost a squeak, can be heard as an otter pokes its head around from behind the woman. Well, rather, an otter shaped mass of the sky as seen from deep space, full of twinkling stars.

Accompanying the chirp is a mental projection, easily blocked if one has the means or even just serious intent to do so.
~hello I am Crafty welcome to the Nexus would you like a cookie they are chocolate chip cookies I make them myself are we going to fix this table now before we get in trouble because Hyran told me i need to stay out of trouble ~

The otter fans out a spread of chocolate chip cookies in his previously empty front paws with the skill of a practiced poker dealer, holding them out to both Zero and Jasper.

[JasperBrennon]

"Hi Crafty!"  He takes a proffered cookie and sniffs it.  "Hey, real chocolate!  Ah haven't had this in MONTHS!"  He takes a large bite.

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

The woman called Zero also takes a cookie, and a second for good measure.

"As Crafty here says, you are in the Nexus.  Probably permanently -- I mention this as you seem to be a frequent traveller.  You are familiar with the concept of multiple universes?  This is the place where they all intersect.  You have fallen -- or perhaps been pushed -- into the place where all universes merge.  The rest of us have arrived here in similar fashion. " 

She pauses.  "Does this make sense so far?"

[JasperBrennon]

Jasper looks around at the mostly empty Bazaar.  "Nexus, huh?  Nevah heard of it.  Ya'll are universe travelers?  That's intahresting... so how big is this place?  How many peo- . . . uh. . . inhabitants?"

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

Zero shrugs.

"I do not possess exact data; the Nexus has many pockets of habitation, many of which we know little of.  But I should correct some misapprehensions, and provide you with more precise terminology."

"First, we are no longer universe travellers, if we ever were, once we arrive here.  Departure is possible; return, as I understand it, is not.  You have entered the Nexus of the multiverse, but you can expect to spend the rest of your existence here.  The benefit of that is that your is existence is now infinite.  There may be some ... interruptions ... but you should not be troubled with those immediately."

"Second, the term for the other residents in your condition is Avatar.  'Inhabitants' has a specific meaning here, which we needn't go into at this point; you will have sufficient data to process as it is."

"There is a great deal of other data crucial to your well-being.  The basics are these.  You are immune to harm at the moment, and also unable to affect anyone here.  This state will continue until you affiliate yourself with one of the fifteen Houses -- associations of Avatars with goals, interests, philosophies, or other issues.  There will be no limit to the number of Avatars who will explain those Houses to you, in an effort to bring you into their own.  I will spare you that for the present.  Once you make that association, you will begin to recover some of the abilities you had before you arrived here, and probably additional ones as well.  You will actually have no need for sleep, food, drink, or whatever other needs you once had, although they are available, and many Avatars partake of them.  Are you still processing?"

[wcshoe]

Crafty squeaks sadly.
~not immune to harm at all only immune to harm if you want to be immune to it but you can allow people to harm you if you want to be harmed~

Usually his friend Zero was more accurate in its statements...

[JasperBrennon]

"That okay, who wants to go back to somewhere they've already seen?  New places, new rules, new physics!  But Ah'm here, for now - so the plan is to enjoy it!" Jasper crows, with a roguish look on his face.  "Now, you sahd someone in mah position is called an Avatah... what IS mah condition, exactly?  What's your condition?  Do Ah get to turn into liquid when Ah move, too?"

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

Zero looks at Crafty, then back at the newcomer.

"Pardon me for my inaccuracy; I did not take into account that someone might wish harm upon itself, but it is, of course, possible."

"Nonetheless, your 'condition' is somewhat different from mine or Crafty's.  We are all now composed of pure energy, which we can theoretically control completely.  This is why traditional sustenance is now unnecessary.  However, in practice it takes a great deal of time and experience to control that energy."

"In the beginning, you will generally emulate abilities you had previously and are thus familiar with, or perhaps abilities you observed in others -- that is, things you associate with your frame of reference.  In addition, once you choose a House -- none of these things is possible until that is accomplished -- that House will also grant you certain abilities.  Eventually, you should find yourself able to do almost anything you desire, although there is often a cost.  As far as 'turning into liquid', if you did that previously, perhaps you will manage to learn to do it here.  I must say, though, that while that was quite a natural thing for me before I came here, it took many cycles before I was able to control it properly here."

"If I may ask, what is your ..."  She stops and rephrases.  "Where and when do you come from?"  She pulls something out of a pocket, a slender silvery device about the size of a credit card, and moves her fingers across it lightly.

[JasperBrennon]

"I see.  Well, it was about 1933 when I left... I suppose it would be 1940 now.  Basic non-magical world, from what I've seen.  Gravity was 9.81 meters squared, gravitational constant of G (volume)/(mass)(time)^2....  conservation of energy... Light as a wave and a particle... light speed of 299,792,458 m/s  ... planets move in an ellipse, with the star at a focus... induced current always opposes its cause..."

In the time that everyone's been talking, Jasper has been holding his severed hand onto his wrist with his other hand.  In his exuberance, he begins to make a gesture.  But whatever he was about to say is cut off as he discovers that his hand is re-attached to his wrist again. 

"...Whoa..." he says quietly.  "You weren't kidding about the not being hurt.  Ah didn't do a thing..."

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

"Did this world have a name?"

[JasperBrennon]

"Hmm?  Oh... Earth, solah system, Milky Way galaxy."  He keeps adjusting his hand, seeing if he can locate any scars or permanent injuries.

[wcshoe]

Crafty whistles helpfully to Zero, as she colects data.
~he is not a Chaos Wolf either so that is good~