[Bazaar] A Not-So-Handy Landing

[Stran Tannish]

When Shamus pops the bottle open there is a very audible mechanical squealing noise, very much like that of someone slamming on the brakes. The dragon halts in midair, turns it's head, and sniffs. His entire form shimmers with magical energy and fades away; and the energy then shoots down to the ground in the midst of the gathered Avatars, coalescing from the ground up into the shape of the Godot Archmagus. With the hamster on his shoulder, he smiles in greeting to all around him, then stares with a puzzled expression.

"Now where'd that beer go?"

[JasperBrennon]

Jasper is a bit disconcerted by the sudden flurry of activity around him.  "Uhm..." he manages to say, looking between all the newcomers, and trying to interpret everyone's comments.

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

Zero has improbably pulled out an empty stein from a pocket.  "Beer gone?"  She/it looks decidedly unhappy.

"I must admit to being unaware of this 'Tourism Bureau' myself, Doctor Ashleigh Connors.   Are you saying the documents therein are unbiased -- pure scientific data?  If so, I should like to examine them; such things are particularly rare when dealing with House issues, and, I would have thought, impossible.  House information has heretofore proven most resistant to quantitative analysis."

[Stran Tannish]

Stran looks over at the new arrival and his expression instantly changes. He takes in Jasper's appearance in a single moment and smiles broadly. Sticking out a hand in greeting, he speaks as genially as possible.

"Stran Tannish, Head and Archmagus of House Godot. I can see you've been properly befuddled by all of the activity upon your arrival, but let me assure you it was not my intention to add to your confusion. What I can do, however, is offer you a place to relax for a short time and clear your head, if you're willing to extend a little trust."

The mage's left hand slashes out to the side and cuts the air with a crackle of magical power. A doorway appears, and on the other side can be seen the clearing in the center of the Magik Grove. A pleasant, inviting bonfire burns in the middle, and is surrounded on 3 sides by dense forest. On the fourth side stand both Stran's naturally formed two-story cabin and the modern-looking training warehouse. Around the bonfire are very comfortable looking benches. The hamster hops from Stran's shoulder to the ground and scurries through the portal, waving from the other side. The Godot holds out his hand in invitation to Jasper, then looks at the other gathered avatars.

"You're all invited to join us, but please keep in consideration that you'll be entering my Domain, and treat it with the same - or more - respect that you show me." With that he goes to stand next to the portal, awaiting the responses.

[wcshoe]

Crafty looks around for Shamus, and realizes that the small Lightfoot has disappeared with the bottle. With an audible otter sigh, he produces another identical bottle in similar fashion, and holds it up toward Stran and Zero. He chirps soothingly toward Jasper, while waiting for one of them to take the bottle.
~nobody said you were stupid but a dragon flying many hundred feet away can be easily confused with another dragon if you haven't met either of them before so you need to meet the good ones so you know who they are there is no reason to be mean to me you should have another cookie you will feel better~

[Dr. Ashleigh Connors]

Ashleigh snorts at Zero's notions, "Zero, you should know better.  Salzillian Uncertainty Mechanics, the only uncertainty mechanics that I haven't violated successfully, preclude the very concept of a single, unbiased source.  Frame of reference alone denies the possibility of that ever occurring.  Except within a frame of reference that does permit it, which cannot exist, and still permit us to exist...but enough philosophy."

He then quickly turns back to Jasper, "Look you're on the closest thing to truly neutral ground right now.  The only laws that govern this patch are the laws of commerce, fair trade, and equal return.  These are a.k.a. 'You can have whatever you want, for the right price.', and 'You get what you pay for.'  You walk out of here, you're subject to whole new sets of laws, many of them more in the House's favor, than not.  As you're brand new, here, in this place, you, like any other kid under 5, can eat for free. 

So right now, use your noodle and spine, and stop taking what people *want* to give you.  Because nothing that is given away unsolicited, is *ever* worth it.  Honestly, they're giving you bupkus, and trying to sell you something.  Mainly, because you don't know any better. 

Right here, right now bub, snap out of the daze, exceed their expectations, and tell us what you want."

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

Zero turns to Connors (after extending its stein in Crafty's direction), looking a bit, well, put out.

"A bit harsh, do you not think?  And if I may point out, you offered the Bureau of Tourism as a superior alternative to the status quo.  What is superior about it if it is no less biased than the data it (Zero indicates Jasper) is already receiving?"

She/it/whatever turns back to the nonplussed newcomer.

"Do not allow yourself to be bullied, by Doctor Ashleigh Connors or anyone else.  Have a beer if you like, or a cookie, or both.  Look around, or jump into a choice.  But in all honesty, I *do* recommend a cookie.  In fact ... I wouldn't mind one myself."

[Dr. Ashleigh Connors]

"I'm not bullying anyone.  That would entail weaponry pointing at vital body parts.

No, I'm stating plain fact.  I've heard the bloody "fresh fish spiel" more times now than I care to recall.  It is always a sales pitch.  It is never factual.  And it is always slanted towards one house or the other, depending on who's telling it.  As for what's better at the Bureau.  Information available there is in a document form.  It is written from multiple authors, providing multiple viewpoints, and none of them crafted with the intent to recruit an newbie to any specific house or the other. 

So no, I don't think it bit harsh at all.  I think you're being short sighted.  I think you're acting as flawed in reasoning, as any other vulture recruiter.  Consequently, you're throwing this poor man back to the wolves.  You're helping the system stay corrupted, right now Zero.  I would have expected better from you.  I would have expected a creature, as intelligent as you usually seem to be, to recognize the corruption in the status quo.  I'd have expected you, to seize any potential opportunity to correct the propagation of the error. 

But no.  You'd rather bicker with me, because you got burned.  Because a situation, way beyond my control, dumped me off in another house, leaving you to rot by yourself.  You want to register a complaint on that?  Go find the nearest fracking Manifestation.  You tell them, to stop permitting delusions, megalomaniac idiots from dicking around with our timelines.  You go do some fracking research, on that whole clusterfrack.   

When you're done, and you realize that I'm not the one you need to be turning that passive aggression towards, then you come back.  When you realize, that I've never had anything but your, and Renaissance's best interests at heart, you stroll on in here. I'll welcome you, and take you to the refrigerator room next to my office.  We'll share the Long Dark Death, that I've had chilling for us, since before you started giving me the cold shoulder.  We'll drink that beauty down, like the compatriots we used to be. 

Until then, either start helping me, to help the poor bastards, that fall into this particular hellhole of plane of existence.  Help me, to stop having naive newbs practically seduced, and gang pressed into places they don't belong.  Or...buy something, and get the frack out of my way."

Ashleigh lets go of Jasper, and taps the female form on its shoulder.  It backs up to stand beside Ashleigh.  "Wizard, I'm sorry you had to see that.  Tempers run hot here, so you better learn that fast.  I'm out of here though, and you're on your own.  The Tourism Bureau is in the center of this shopping district.  It's just as I described.  And it's not there to sell you on anything.  It's only information, that is there for your benefit. 

Good luck kid.  If you wanna talk after, or if you join a house, and are looking for a job, or a deal on something, I'm not hard to find."

With that, Ashleigh walks off towards the center of the Bazaar, the female form following behind him.

[Stran Tannish]

Stran stares after Ashleigh for a moment, a bemused expression on his face. Then smiles and slowly shakes his head.

"Don't worry about him. He's right that tempers often flare around here, and tantrums are quite common. Some people just can't grasp the fact that there are some of us that don't care about the politics of this place, and actually CAN provide unbiased opinions. I don't feel the need to aggressively recruit to my House for example. If someone feels they belong there, then that's where they'll end up, no matter what I or others say. Again, all I offer is a quiet place to clear your mind for a moment; you'll be free to return here or go somewhere else at any time."

The mage turns to Zero, "cookies and beer do in fact sound like a very good idea. I could offer you a combination actually." He holds out a hand and a bottle of Brooklyn Brewery Dark Chocolate Stout appears, which he proffers to the Renaissance.

[sigmacaine]

Sigma, who seems to have been leaning on a doorframe not too far away fiddling with what is probably a cellphone, chooses this moment to walk towards the assembled group. "What got his panties in a bunch?" he asks as he jerks his thumb towards the departing Ashleigh.

He glances around and seems to notice the new Avatar for the first time. He puts away the phone and extends his hand. "Hi, I'm Sigma. That's a great hat you have there."

[JasperBrennon]

At first, Jasper seems extremely happy to have discovered another wizard in this world - and is about to introduce himself more properly when Ashleigh and Zero burst into an argument on neutral data.  After that, Jasper isn't able to do much more than gape at the arguments and offers roiling around him.  He takes Stran's hand mechanically and shakes it when offered. 

Upon Sigma's arrival, he grasps upon one thing that was clearly directed at him WITHOUT being argumentative, an offer, a demand, or outright psychotic babble, and goes with that.  "Thanks!  Ah stole it from Odin hisself.  S'posed to have powahs, but Ah han't seen any yet."

[`_100003005030 (Zero)]

Zero continues to gape at Connors, as she has through his entire diatribe.

Some time after the hat conversation begins, she/it finally processes Stran's offer.

"Thank you, that sounds most satisfying."

The stein returns to the pocket (where it causes not the slightest bulge), and the Ren drinks from the bottle, addressing Jasper once more.

"Are you familiar with beer?  I highly recommend its application in moments like this."

After another drink, she/it continues.  "I must apologize for Doctor Ashleigh Connors's precipitous outburst.  I fear I somehow am the cause of it.  Somehow I tend to upset beings in  the search for accurate data.  If you felt I was recruiting overzealously for my House, I apologize.  That I'm not often accused of."

[wcshoe]

Crafty, stunned, says nothing. Saddened, he looks around, before he realizes what the problem was. The otter takes off at full scamper, chasing after Ashleigh and the female with him until he catches up...

Once he does, he stops directly in front of them, and politely holds up several cookies...

[Dr. Ashleigh Connors]

Ashleigh kneels down, and accepts the cookies.  He makes a deliberate show of taking a bite of one.  "Go on home Crafty.  It'll be alright, I promise.  It's got to be almost Father's Day, even for Celestial Otters.  Go spend it with your boy and girl." 

[Fox McCloud]

Fox looks around and listens for a while.  "Oh...We are recruiting.  Well then *ahem* I am Fox McCloud, and I am from house Ares.  We shoot stuff and blow things up.  You should join.  That is all."